Beware, it’s a Googlenado!
Just add nuggets of ground beef for a “Loose Meat Mary.”
I should apologize in advance for this post, and recommend that vegetarians and children of tender age should avert their eyes. But as I was eating my lunch of leftover chicken satay takeout and pondering my meat on a stick treat, I wondered aloud whether its inventor had gotten rich off it. Bill thought that patents weren’t around then, so probably not. I ventured the idea that bacon on a stick might be a million-dollar concept, which prompted Bill to Google “bacon on a stick“–that being the 21st-century version of a patent search.
Some searches just lead to what you are looking for, and some lead you on and on until your head is swimming. I call it a Googlenado. Bacon on a stick is already a prominent feature of the snack-meat universe, it seems. Pictures and recipes abound. But that led inexorably to chocolate-covered bacon on a stick. The people in the photos are smiling (and snarfing down). This in turn lead to other corners of extreme bacon cuisine. There is the inventor of the Loose Meat Mary–the conventional Bloody Mary ingredients augmented by a bacon strip and garnished with little nuggets of ground beef. And for a regional note, there is bacon poutine, for those who think French fries with gravy and cheese curd has been crying out for the additional company of their crisp smokey obsession.
I am of the opinion that there are very few recipes that couldn’t be improved by the addition of a little bacon, but there are some folks who just cross the line. Bacon-flavored gumballs comes to mind, and mind you, I chew gum that contains nicotine. And bacon air freshener?–I already have a frying pan. And bacon-flavored dental floss would not encourage me to floss, although nothing else does, either. And even I must say that a bacon cheeseburger should never be served on a donut instead of a bun.
But enough about bacon, at least until I get hungry again. Where are some of the weird corners of the Google-verse your innocent search terms have taken you? And before you ask, no, not those corners.
Tags: listeningpost
And, I am sure you are no doubt familiar with ThinkGeek’s Bacon Bestiary
Someone (name withheld) left a bottle of bacon flavored vodka at my house recently. An unnatural act to do that to a perfectly drinkable bottle of spirits.
And!
In a pinch (perhaps an unfortunate word), bacon can even be used to shut one up.
At least, according to the graphic artists at Mother Jones.
OMG, Dale, funny post! It proves, once and for all, that humans are bacon-flavored bat-shit insane. And I’d probably love the bacon air freshener – until I found out it wasn’t really bacon. I’ll never be able to enjoy the smell of bacon cooking ever again!
You were right. I should have averted my eyes… but thanks for the chuckles.
In some (probably) not too distant time anthropologists will look at the baco-centrism of our current time and try to puzzle out what was going on. My personal belief is that bacon is the last acceptable way to eat almost pure fat with a little salt. Humans crave fat. The question is do you like it hard and crusty or gelatinous and chewy?
I have not been a meat eater for some time (except on rare occasions) but on a trip not too long ago in Central Asia we stopped at a chai-khana where they prepared kebabs of fat-tail sheep and about every third or fourth nugget was a glistening gem of pure roasted fat like a 40 carat rough diamond of salty, smokey delicious. Better than bacon because it is unobtainable here and I’ll likely never eat it again. And pig is, of course, unclean. Lamb is pure and wholesome.