{"id":11465,"date":"2014-08-02T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-08-02T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/allin\/?p=11465"},"modified":"2014-08-04T09:37:45","modified_gmt":"2014-08-04T13:37:45","slug":"the-art-of-conversation-mansplained","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/allin\/2014\/08\/02\/the-art-of-conversation-mansplained\/","title":{"rendered":"The art of conversation, \u201cmansplained\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Have you ever been interrupted in midst of telling a story? Were you interrupted to be corrected, or to be taught why your statement was wrong, when maybe it actually wasn\u2019t? Did the person go on to explain something to you that, if they had let you finish, they might have realized that you already knew? Was there any evidence to show that this person interrupted you based on their own prejudices or biases?<\/p>\n

When it\u2019s happened to me, it\u2019s triggered a mixture of mortification and astonishment, followed by an irritating sense of incompetence that lingers. Until recently, there hasn\u2019t been a word for this. When you don\u2019t have a vocabulary to describe an experience, it\u2019s hard to respond to it. You don\u2019t see it as part of a pattern.<\/p>\n

In 2008, the Los Angeles Times<\/i> published an article called \u201cMen Explain Things To Me,\u201d<\/a> in which writer Rebecca Solnit indirectly coined the term \u201cmansplaining.\u201d In her essay, she describes an encounter she had at a party where an older man stopped her to explain that the subject of a book she had written had already been written about. He went on to insist that she read the book that she herself had written, and when a friend tried to point out this man\u2019s fault, he continued to argue the contrary.<\/p>\n

Mansplaining describes this form of silencing not merely as an isolated incident, but as a greater cultural issue at work. Solnit\u2019s essay went viral, echoing the experiences of many women. Solnit\u2019s often humorous, yet deeply penetrating message generated a conversation about the lack of respect women often receive when engaging in the art of conversation with men.<\/p>\n

Mansplaining happens all the time: in academia, at work, at the gym, on the street, in the news, even at home. Sometimes it\u2019s blatantly obvious, but sometimes it can be difficult to identify. Often, men aren\u2019t even aware that they\u2019re doing it. Sometimes it happens subconsciously\u2014a habit learned from movies and TV shows.<\/p>\n

So how can you tell when it\u2019s happening? Let me break it down:<\/p>\n

When a man tells a woman how to do something they know how to do, that\u2019s mansplaining. When a man offers his two-cents about a subject because he doesn\u2019t think the woman knows what she\u2019s talking about, that\u2019s also mansplaining. When a man blatantly ignores a woman when she speaks directly to him, that\u2019s also a form of mansplaining. Basically, to \u201cmansplain\u201d something is for a man to tell a woman how to understand an issue that\u2019s central to them, which stifles them, sometimes keeping them from articulating really great points or ideas.<\/p>\n

\"mansplainer1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Personally, I don\u2019t care for the term mansplaining. The definition isn\u2019t easy to comprehend, and it\u2019s often misused by both men and women\u2014kind of like the definition of feminism<\/a>. This makes the concept difficult to digest, difficult to argue, and even more difficult to prove.<\/p>\n

In a way, women do this to women. Men do this to men. Sometimes this serves as a power struggle within the hierarchy of gender. But going even further, I’d argue that the dynamic behind mansplaining also exists independent of gender. In other words, it happens to anyone who is considered culturally and\/or socially inferior. This is routinely found in any conversation where someone in a socially dominant position \u201cexplains\u201d life to someone in an inferior position, as determined by our culture.<\/p>\n

For instance, scholars explaining to indigenous people how their religion should be understood; white people telling black people how it feels to be a minority; straight people telling gay people why they don\u2019t want marriage equity.<\/p>\n

Any way you spin it, when someone offers some sort of unwelcomed magical insight, it generates this really unsettling feeling, rightfully so, because this is a form of silencing that basically says this person doesn\u2019t deserve the same recognition that those of privilege are entitled to.<\/p>\n

If you want to avoid being a mansplainer, ask yourself: Have you shown this person consideration by listening, or have you been taking mental notes and preparing your next response? Are you aware of this person\u2019s knowledge on the subject of conversation? Have you acknowledged and trusted this person\u2019s ability to comprehend their own experiences, or have you been preparing to explain their<\/i> experience to them? Are you looking for a reason to explain your own experience, and does your experience show any pertinence to this conversation? Finally, before you speak, ask yourself; do you know enough about what you\u2019re talking about to intelligently contribute to the conversation?<\/p>\n

If not, maybe you should let them finish their thought before contributing yours.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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