{"id":2093,"date":"2010-05-13T04:26:50","date_gmt":"2010-05-13T08:26:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/inbox\/?p=2093"},"modified":"2010-05-13T07:00:41","modified_gmt":"2010-05-13T11:00:41","slug":"elena-kagan-owes-me-an-explanation-of-her-private-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/inbox\/2010\/05\/13\/elena-kagan-owes-me-an-explanation-of-her-private-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Elena Kagan owes me an explanation of her private life"},"content":{"rendered":"

I want to officially join the phalanx of pundits on the right, the left and the middle<\/a> who are demanding that Elena Kagan explain her private life to me in detail.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Let’s not be coy:\u00a0 I want to know your sexual orientation, please, Ms. Kagan. Promptly.<\/p>\n

And no, it’s not nearly demeaning enough to hear former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer explaining that “I did not go out with her, but other guys did” in college.<\/p>\n

I want details.\u00a0 I want you on Oprah. Or maybe Ellen.\u00a0 Maybe a Tiger Woods style interview with Bob Costas?<\/p>\n

Writers as varied as Andrew Sullivan (the Atlantic) and Jack Shafer (Slate) have suggested that dishing about your intimate choices gets us to “the heart of the matter.”<\/p>\n

I couldn’t agree more.\u00a0 Your resume as the dean of Harvard Law school and your tenure as Solicitor General are all well and good.<\/p>\n

But I think that photo of you playing softball — run on the front page the Wall Street Journal, no less — is the real Rosetta stone that needs decoding.<\/p>\n

We always knew that the “gay agenda” was underhanded.\u00a0 Now it appears that the plot involves underhanded pitching, too.<\/p>\n

Conservative Pat Buchanan certainly thinks so.\u00a0 He issued a statement this week pointing out that “women’s softball has been associated with lesbians and being gay for a long time.”<\/p>\n

He said women playing softball was sort of like “a signal, like two men sunbathing on a beach together.”<\/p>\n

Thanks for that, Pat.<\/p>\n

Now, Ms. Kagan, we would like an actual photograph of you sunbathing on a beach with someone.<\/p>\n

It doesn’t have to be as spicy or revealing as Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown’s Cosmo centerfold spread.\u00a0\u00a0 Or Barack Obama’s buff-on-the beach snapshot.<\/p>\n

Just come up with something, anything, that I can add to my Politico pin-up collection.<\/p>\n

And yes, before any of you Civics 101 scolds take me to task, this is exactly the kind of conversation that America has been needing for a long time.<\/p>\n

Especially now that we’ve settled the question of whether President Obama is black enough (or American enough) and whether Miley Cyrus is a good influence on tweens.<\/p>\n

America’s chattering horde needs something to talk about, after all.\u00a0 And we’d much rather analyze your ankle thickness than your legal scholarship.<\/p>\n

So the ball is in your, ahem, court, Ms. Kagan.<\/p>\n

In Arizona people who look vaguely Hispanic are now required by law to present identity papers proving that they are in the country\u00a0 legally.<\/p>\n

It’s only natural that unmarried women of a certain age and body type be required to explain themselves (maybe a Lifetime television special?) before winning a lifetime seat on the Supreme Court.<\/p>\n

We all understand that every decision you make as a Justice will be shaped not by your intellect, your knowledge of the law, or your integrity — but by the choices you’ve made in the bedroom.\u00a0 (And, perhaps, at shortstop.)<\/p>\n

In fact, I think we should scrap the Senate confirmation process entirely.\u00a0 I think Ms. Kagan should fire up a Facebook account, post some pics, and start dishing.<\/p>\n

If enough of us normal Americans decide to Friend her, then she’s in.\u00a0\u00a0 Now that’s democracy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I want to officially join the phalanx of pundits on the right, the left and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/inbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2093"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/inbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/inbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/inbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/inbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2093"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/inbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2093\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2095,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/inbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2093\/revisions\/2095"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/inbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2093"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/inbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2093"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org\/inbox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2093"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}