New in (the small) Town

Okay, I’m going to break one of my cardinal rules: I’m going to slam something I’ve never seen.

The latest Renee Zelleweger film, “New In Town,” is all about a big-city corporate shark gal learning a bit about life and finding romance in a small town.

Sigh.

The New York Times doesn’t mind the city-mouse country-mouse schtick so much, they just want it done better.

“New In Town” has no idea of how to play its cards. From their regional accents to their cutesy-poo vocabulary (lots of okey-dokeys), the Minnesotans whom Lucy encounters are ludicrous parodies of the characters in “Fargo.” You feel as if you are watching creatures more exotic than Snow White’s seven dwarfs.

And who’s the small-town hunk? Harry Connick Jr., one of the most cosmopolitan guys I’ve ever seen on-screen.

I’m sure there’s a Green Acres remake in our future.

Oh, well. There’s no escaping this stuff. It’ll be with us until we all live in orbital space colonies.