With gay rights it’s all about who you know

Burning of Sodomites (detail). Illustration: Diebold Schilling, from Chronik der Burgunderkriege, 1482

One of the more fascinating aspects of the gay rights revolution over the last decade is that Americans appear to be shifting their positions with astonishing speed.

In the last few weeks, conservative Republican Senator Rob Portman endorsed same-sex marriage, and traditional values standard bearer Paul Ryan withdrew his opposition to adoption rights for gay couples.

Polls show that citizens are making the same flip, transitioning from fierce opposition and disgust to grudging acceptance to a kind of ho-hum Who cares? at a pace that makes you blink.

One factor driving this trend is the simple reality that more gays and lesbians are visible, not only on TV and in movies, but in our every-day lives.

America is still a hugely segregated country.  It’s possible to live much of your life without having much to do with people of different races or ethnicities.

But getting through life these days without having a gay kid, or a lesbian niece or a co-worker in a committed same-sex relationship?  That’s pretty tough even in rural “red” states.

In an interview with reporters in Ohio, Rob Portman described the phenomenon of learning about his son’s homosexuality this way.

“It allowed me to think of this issue from a new perspective, and that’s of a dad who loves his son a lot and wants him to have the same opportunities that his brother and sister would have — to have a relationship like Jane and I have had for over 26 years.”

It turns out familiarity has long been a factor in erasing, or at least easing, the contempt that some people feel toward homosexuals.

In the 1400s, the big debate in the Republic of Venice was not whether gays and lesbians should be allowed to marry.

It was whether they should be burned alive or executed first and then burned later, the latter being considered a far more merciful and Christian punishment.

The trouble was that too many people in the city were gay, or knew gays, so by 1509 there were draconian laws on the books but they were rarely being enforced.  Here’s how one critic of homosexuality described the problem.

“The persons responsible for their [homosexuals’] execution were themselves involved in these offenses and had no heart to carry out the punishment, for they feared that the same penalty might fall upon themselves  or their own children. or these reasons, the thing was suppressed and the fire which these criminals deserved was quenched and doused with water.”

Quotes like this are worth keeping in mind when people question why gays are so vocal or visible.  Why do they campaign for their rights so aggressively and noisily?  Why not keep their sexuality to themselves?

Because the alternative is to be isolated, to be the easy target for derision, prejudice and (yes) bigoted violence.  It’s harder to hate gays when they’re our kids, or our parents or our coworkers.

The power of ending silence should be obvious by now.  This week, pro-basketball player Jason Collins “came out” — the first male professional athlete in a team sport to do so.

To be clear, the longstanding code of secrecy on the part of gays in his industry didn’t put people at risk of execution.  But it clearly contributed to a climate of fear and deception and oppression.

“I wish I wasn’t the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, I’m different,” Collins told Sports Illustrated.  “If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I’m raising my hand.”

Some critics have questioned whether Collins’ move was heroic, or courageous.  Fair enough.  What seems clear though is that this kind of honesty and openness changes minds and changes hearts.  It’s changing our society.

107 Comments on “With gay rights it’s all about who you know”

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  1. JDM says:

    hermit thrush: “my own experience is totally the opposite of what he’s asserting”

    My experience is opposite of yours.

    They are teaching the tenants of Islam in the public schools I am familiar with.

    They are not allowing Christian references to Christmas in the public schools I am familiar with.

  2. hermit thrush says:

    how are these schools familiar to you? are they ones you’ve attended yourself? just read about? if the latter, links please?

    when i was in 9th grade social studies, we learned about all the world’s major religions, in a this-is-what-these-people-believe kind of way, not in a this-is-how-it-really-is kind of way. as part of that we learned some of the “tenets of islam,” but in no way was islam or any other religion singled out as more true than the others. (in fact no one who took the course will ever forget its oft-repeated tagline, “different is different not better or worse.”) are you sure it’s not just that sort of thing going on everywhere, and you’re getting worked up over nothing.

    also, i just checked my dear alma mater’s website, and the school concert put on in december was called not a holiday concert, not a winter concert, not a solstice concert, but a christmas concert. and it was advertised as including a variety of traditional christmas music. i don’t think there’s exactly a lack of celebrating christmas in favor of other religions going on here.

    also, you still haven’t engaged with the question in my 4:22 comment.

  3. Marlo Stanfield says:

    In what public schools are they teaching the tenets of Islam? My job takes me into some of the local public schools a fair bit, and I am familiar with no such thing going on. Do you really think that schools are trying to teach our kids to be Muslims?

    I think I took global studies in 9th grade; we learned a bit about Islam, Christianity, Judiasm, Buddhism, Hinduism, all in a fairly basic way and more in the context of their influence on world history than learning any depth about their philosophies. And there was a Christian prayer club that met after school. It was a student club like any other. They weren’t persecuted any more than the kids in the chess or debate clubs.

    I do agree that, in some instances, the political correctness surrounding Christmas has gone too far and some people need to lighten up. A majority of people in this country come from Christisn backgrounds and grew up celebrating Christmas even if they’re not practicing Christians today, I view Christmas and the traditions that surround it as a part of our shared culture. But I don’t think some people’s over-PC squeamishness about the word “Christmas” is the same thing as a “war on Christmas” or persecution of Christian beliefs, as some more apocalyptic-minded people have tried to cast it.

  4. knuckleheadedliberal says:

    It’s been a long time since I was in school but they used to send out a special bus run for Catholic kids to go to catechism classes or some such thing on Wednesday afternoons if I remember correctly. But my kids were in school more recently and I went to their Christmas concerts where they learned to play and sing lots of religious songs like Silent Night and such.

    I know plenty of people who are not Christians – Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and atheists – who celebrate Christmas. I also know a few Jehovah’s Witnesses who do not celebrate Christmas.

    And I’ve never seen anyone stop any student or group of students from praying in school or outside of school. I have seen many kids wearing their religious talismans around their necks at school and crossing themselves before a test or a contest.

    So as far as I am concerned JDM is full of bull on this one.

  5. JDM says:

    khl, hermit et. al.

    My knowledge comes from being in the schools up to the present. 20-30 years ago, you’re correct, things were different.

    Social studies is where they emphasize the Islam religion more now than we were in school. Christianity has not been completely obliterated, as ht noted, but that is the direction it is heading.

    No one is dressing up or being converted to Islam, which is the general silliness and exaggeration that allows libs to avoid dealing with real issues. It is present. It is trying to gloss over the large sect of hatred that exists. It does not prepare our kids for the real world.

    I did address comment 4:22. If you go a few hours, ht, you will see that I have nothing more to say about it. If I do, I’ll let you know.

  6. Marlo Stanfield says:

    So in your mind teaching about Islam in social studies is the same as trying to obliterate Christianity or make kids oblivious to the hatred of the West in the Muslim world? I have to wonder, to what end. Is there a secretly Muslim cabal of school superintendents hoping to drill Islam into kids’ heads one extra minute of global studies at a time? Islam’s the religion of something like a fifth of the planet. A basic knowledge of their beliefs is important to being a well rounded person and understanding current events, the same as a basic knowledge of Christianity or Judaism. I’m sure they do emphasize Islam a bit more than they did 30 years ago; given everything that’s happening in the world, that would make sense.

  7. hermit thrush says:

    hard to improve on what marlo says about students learning about islam.

    as for this:

    I did address comment 4:22.

    where? how?

    remember that you wrote

    Rather than take us back to the 1400s, and “merciful and Christian punishment” of buring at the stake, why not look at the 2013 punishment offered by a large, religious sect, radical Islam.

    That would be much more appropo.

    at 4:22 i pointed out that that’s at best spectacularly under-explained, and at worst nonsense. you’ve done nothing to engage with this. (if you disagree, then show us.)

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